Slow Dance

Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask
How are you?
Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say,"Hi"
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away.

Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.



written by a cancer patient.

hit close to home. makes so much sense to me.

why rush it?
can't we just slowly enjoy and savour each beautiful magical moment?
wouldn't that be better than rushing through everything, yet be left unsatisfied?

back.

just got back here today.



same airport.
same roads.
same kampung houses.
same campus.
same hostel room.
same people, same everybody!

nothing special, nothing different, nothing new.

where's that one thing i'm looking for?



i realize that i am not someone to be remembered.
that i don't matter.
insignificant.

it's a reflex!

being unusually rajin for once, i was reading through the practical notes before class.

...........................................................................................
Task: Practise testing these reflexes on each other, note the subject's response.

TOPIC: REFLEXES

(A) DEEP REFLEXES

the usual ones la, like the knee reflex, ankle jerk..bla bla bla. just get the tendon hammer and start hammering the fella.

(B) SUPERFICIAL REFLEXES

1. CORNEAL REFLEX
> Touch the lateral cornea with a wisp of cotton wool.

okay basically just poking the fella's eye. i can do that.

2. BLINK REFLEX
> With the subject looking forward, bring an object quickly towards the eye from the front.

i can just go pee-ka-BOOOOHHHH!!!

3. CILIOSPINAL REFLEX
> Pinch the skin on the side of the neck.

how's the fella's response suppose to be? i could only imagine getting punched in the face. seriously.

4. SUPERFICIAL ABDOMINAL REFLEX
> Stroke the abdominal wall lightly. Four quadrants of the abdomen are tested separately.

*eyes widen* ahaa... the fella better have a six-pack. *laughs* well...for me to...urm...identify the four quadrants? (whatever hell that is)

5. CREMASTER REFLEX
> Stroke the skin of the upper medial part of the thigh.

WHADDAHELLLLL?????!!!!!! *re-reads notes* i'm suppose to WHAT??? now i am definitely NOT interested in causing THAT kinda response!
...........................................................................................

walked into the lab.

stared at the examination bed beside my table.
(tempted to just lay there and sleep)

looked around at others.

and ONE question remained... WHICH 'lucky' fella is it gonna be???

answered prayers

things were tough. i hoped and prayed for circumstances to change.


surprisingly, circumstances did change eventually. almost the way i wanted.


but what's the point now? when someone decided to murder everything.


the extremely rare times when prayers get answered, my answered prayers are wasted.



maybe it's bad timing, i don't know.

questions

should i have taken the offer from the National University of Singapore instead?

would it have turned out better if i were to be in Singapore instead of Kelantan?

should i be regretting coming here?

is this how it's supposed to be, or is it a mistake?

...

aku yang lemah tanpamu
aku yang rentan karena
cinta yang telah hilang darimu
yang mampu menyanjungku

selama mata terbuka
sampai jantung tak berdetak
selama itu pun aku mampu untuk mengenangmu

darimu, kutemukan hidupku
bagiku, kau lah cinta sejati




[part of 'Kenangan Terindah' by Samsons]

don't ask. it's one of those days.
:-S

i love you?

been reading, at last. =)

not coz i've more free time now, just feel like throwing everything else aside and indulging in a book. so i did. =)



















i've only read less than half of it and daaaaamn, this book is scarily relatable. not like i have a dead husband or anything (choi...), but for some strange reason i could just relate to it... shed a few tears...



(no, i do not normally cry that easily. the only book that made me sob my eyes out was A Walk To Remember. now THAT was terribly freakily extremely so very relatable. hit waaaay too close to home.)




anywayz, i don't know how the later part would turn out. less tears i suppose. haha.







ps: i love you ??...

=)

=)

i didn't fail my first exam.

=) =) =)

i know it's no big deal coz my results weren't anywhere near awesome.

but honestly, i was prepared to get a big FFFFFAT F considering how UNprepared i was for the exams, plus the fact that i came from a physics background...

but i didn't. =)

and comparing my results with the others who spent 5 times more hours studying, sleeping 2 hours a day for a whole month, who seemed like they were aiming for 100%... it wasn't that huge of a difference. tahahahahahaha. =)

maybe i'll survive medic after all.

=) =) =) weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....

flew back and turned insomniac

tossing and turning on my bed for over an hour.

mosquitoes attacking me.

i don't miss this bed.

i can't sleep.

>>> ONE (=P)

for the first time in six years, i flew.

for the first time in twenty years, i flew alone.

hahaha.

gorgeous eh?

not the best i've seen, but this is the one i took. hehe.

(these strangely beautiful flying machines, i could just stare at them for hours, fascinated.)

so i was in LCCT (still don't know what it stands for), for the first time. it was crazy. the people there... they were like, well, ANTS!!! see i've been to a coupla airports before, they never were that packed! gosh.

+ being there for the first time

+ not knowing what to do or where to go

+ being kinda late

+ my empty stomach

+ nerves (flying alone for the first time ma)

+ ants rushing from every corner

+ wanting to shit (seriously)

= me feeling ever so terribly lost (NOT good)

anywayz, my luggage exceeded the weight limit by 4kg. which means i was supposed to pay and extra RM40. cracking my head wondering what i'm supposed to remove. end up just taking out my book (yes, ONE book), and ready to pay for the rest of the extra weight, coz i couldn't take anything else out. but when i went back, tadaaaa, it was below 15kg!!!

what i'm trying to say is, i didn't know my book was THAT heavy! LOL. no wonder i feel myself getting shorter and shorter each time i carry my books to class. thanks to you, Keith Moore.

here's our 'favourite' book:

but aaaaaanyways, i found my way la. on time. plus, the flight was delayed.

what i hated :
THE SEATS!!! so sempit!!! and it was like 90 degrees!!! yes the seats were adjustable, but still... i think a bus would've been more comfortable than that airbus. sigh.

THE ENGLISH!!! seriously la, it was terrible. I felt embarrassed. they really need to do something bout that.

what i loved :

FLYING!!! always loved it ever since i was a lil girl, almost forgot what it feels like. =) =) =)

CLOUDS!!! the whole view from up there was simply beautiful la. =)

my smile disappeared when they announced that we were about to land though.

i didn't wanna land.

i don't miss this place.

>>> TWO (=P =P)

guess what, i started jogging!!! (first time today, and let's pray i don't stop haha.)

never thought i would. i've never been a running kinda person. sit ups, push ups, squats, whatever, i'd probably survive. but when it comes to running, i'd be dead within the first 5 minutes.

as expected, today was an absolute embarrassment. my chest was hurting like hell! i thought i was gonna die! seriously, that was the only thought i had the whole time.

(it's my first day, be nice, forgive me.)

that was till i finished the whole round. after that it was time for sit ups and all. and it felt goooood. =)

time: 0301 hours

haiz...i'm still not sleepy.

home

home isn't home.

supposed to feel good. comfortable. warm and nice. safe. well basically everything good.

i'm home. but home brings back too many memories. home brings back the pain i want to ignore. home makes me feel the sting even more. home is complete, yet feels incomplete. home brings back rows of tears. home brings back the feelings i thought i could supress.

i don't know if i like being home. i don't know anymore.








being there in kb doesn't help either.

God has weird plans for me.