exam fever.

3 days before my finals:

• my hair is a mess. let's call it the just-out-of-bed look.
• my eyes look dark. it's either dark circles, or maybe just smudged eyeliner.
• i have a don't-mess-with-me look on my face.
• wearing a black tank top.

and i thought to myself...

I LOOK LIKE A ROCKSTAR~!!

i live in an oven.

that's right people. i live in a friggin oven.

i honestly don't know if it's global warming, or if it's gonna be the end.
(if you watched 'Knowing', you'll understand)

but the heat is unbearable. seriously.
i don't know if it's just Kelantan, or the whole Malaysia,
but i gotta say the weather is crazy.

end of last year it was WET.
for months, continously.
with all our laundry piled up and rotting at one corner.

and now it's BURNING!

i've done everything i can to feel comfortable.
~ wear minimal clothing, check.
(i have roommates, so maybe not as minimal as i'd wish)
~ take cold showers frequently, check.
(now all i need is an ICE bath)
~ turn ALL the fans on, at the HIGHEST speed, check.
(wish our rooms were air-conditioned)
~ drink nothing but cold drinks, check.
(still leaves me feeling dehydrated)
~ try to sleep it off? check!
(impossible to fall sleep)


there are only a few things that i haven't considered.
~ shave my head bald and shiny.
~ stay outside my room completely naked.
~ move in permanently into a fridge.
~ do a rain dance.

let's hope this merciless heat doesn't burn away my sanity.

~ALWAYS be my baby

now you want to be free

so i'm letting you fly

cause i know in my heart babe

our love will never die, no

you'll always be a part of me

i'm a part of you indefinitely

don't you know you can't escape me

oh darling cause you'll always be my baby

and we'll linger on

time can't erase a feeling this strong

no way you're never gonna shake me

oh darling cause you'll always be my baby

i ain't gonna cry, no

and i won't beg you to stay

if you're determined to leave

i will not stand in your way

-David Cook

the mystery of a grey pendrive :)

woke up this morning,
(okay more like afternoon, but heck...)
walked around with my hair in a mess, eyes barely open,
looked at my table and there it was:

A PENDRIVE!


okay i know it doesn't seem like anything great.
but here's the thing, it wasn't mine.
there was no note, nothing.

so i ignored it.
waited around for a text or something, explaining its sudden 'presence'.
but again, nothing.

i asked around.

turns out there's a video some senior dude wanted me to watch.
*excited*
i imagined it to be one of our dance performances.
there's something wrong with my player, so i thought of watching it somewhere else.

then i got a warning (text):
"DON'T PLAY IT NOW!"
*confused*

didn't think much bout it since it was only 2 hours prior to my exam.
(hence, head goes cuckoo)

~fast forward~


17 minutes prior to exam,
someone enlightened me.

it's the last thing i ever expected:
PORN.

*laughs my heart out*
--------------------------------------
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
it's hilarious how people just can't seem to digest the fact that i've not watched porn before.
(i know now some of you may think i'm as innocent as a child, and some may think i'm just pathetic. but i really don't care.)

whatever it is,
i'n not exactly that clueless. :)

[ can't imagine how i'd concentrate on the exam if the last image in my mind was porn. porn for the first time. HAHA! ]

grotesque!

i have exams in less than 3 weeks. instead of reading Keith Moore's Clinical Anatomy, i'm reading this:

had it for what seems like ages already, but only decided to open it a few days before my finals. ironic huh?

anywayz, i've only read a few pages and i think it's awesome already!

prostitution... murder... japan... oooooooohhhhh... it doesn't get any better, does it?

i'm so excited i'm almost turned on. almost.

oh shit!

oh shit!

well some stuff here are obviously for my eyes only. most of the time, when i blog it's more like talking to myself.

not everything here is meant to be public.

therefore i can't decide whether to make this blog public or private.

and again.... oh shit!

rest in peace.

we take people for granted all the time.
i try my best not to, as much as i can.
but i'm only human. so i, too, take people for granted, without realizing.

there are some people who should be close to us,
but slowly we drift apart.
we don't call, we don't write, we don't visit.
we remember, but never made it a point to let them know they're remembered.

it's nobody's fault, really. as i always say.
it works both ways.

so start today.
pick up that phone, go get a pen and paper, grab your car keys and drive.
start today.


















we sometimes assume people will always be there.
failing to realize the fact that anything can happen at any time.

only at times like this do we realize that life isn't forever.
and life can end in a blink.
death doesn't wait for us to be prepared,
death comes and ambushes us when we least expect it.
leaving only a feeling of loss...

we pray that you're in a better place now. rest in peace. you will be missed.

just know i'm here...

you say you gotta go and find yourself
you say that you're becoming someone else
don't recognize the face in the mirror
looking back at you

you say you're leaving
as you look away
i know there's really nothing left to say
just know i'm here
whenever you need me
i'll wait for you

so i'll let you go
i'll set you free
and when you see what you need to see
when you find you, come back to me

take your time i won't go anywhere
picture you with the wind in your hair
i'll keep your things right where you left them
i'll be here for you

oh and i'll let you go
i'll set you free
and when you see what you need to see
when you find you, come back to me

and i hope you find everything that you need
i'll be right here waiting to see
you find you
come back to me

i can't get close if you're not there
i can't get inside if there's no soul to bear
i can't fix you, i can't save you
it's something you have to do

so i'll let you go
i'll set you free
and when you see what you need to see
when you find you, come back to me
come back to me...
****

- Come Back To Me by David Cook.

it's MY day!!! (part 2)

okay if you read my other entry (which is supposed to be part 1 i guess),
you'd see that there were two birthday celebrations.

well i came home last weekend for a third celebration! YAY!
so here goes...

part three:
# march 29th (4 days after my day but who cares? haha)
# small celebration with family & close relatives
# reservation, nice restaurant
# great cake with lotsa fruit on top! YUM!
# chinese 9-course meal.. mind-blowing!
# lotsa prezziessssss!!! :D
# oh ya, they played a song for me. how cute is that? LOL!

all in all, i loved it. :) very small, very personal, very special.
thanks daddy, thanks mommy... it was so incredibly sweet of you guys. :)

__________________________
so here's what i got:

1. a handbag-cum-clutch. WHICH IS PURPLE OMG!!! it would so go with my new purple peep toe pumps :) love it! it's officially my first clutch. haha.

2. u HUUUUGE key. it's gold (well of course not made of gold, they don't love me that much hahahahaha) with the number '21' and the letter 'S' at the handle, with a whole bunch of signatures and notes at the back. awww... :)

3. a whole stack of coloured pens! i've always had a thing for coloured pens. i'd admire them in stationery stores, but never willing to part with my cash to buy them. lol. and now i have a WHOLE BUNCH of them!

4. this little decorative thing... a baby crawling under a huge mushroom. LOL. very cute. plus, there's a BABY!!! a very cute chubby lil' baby girl! i go crazy when i see babies! weeeeeeeeee!

5. a key-chain. it has self-written messages on it. nice. :)

6. a belt! it's black, with shiny stuff on it. dang i don't know how to describe it. it'd be perfect for the days i wanna look a lil' rockstar-ish :P

7. a paper weight. shaped like a big round magic crystal ball! hahaha. lotsa dolphins floating inside. me loves!

8. a pretty lil' pendant! key-shaped, of course hahaha, it's gold (this time it is made of real gold) with the number '21'. :) :) :) :) so pretty and cute and tiny! :) (thanks so much mom & dad...)

9. a handbag-cum-pouch-cum-sling-bag! omg i love it! it's just so small and cute and there are so many ways i can use it! it's brown and shiny and very pretty!

10. a chain! as in the ones you hang around your neck. one of those long chains, with stuff on it (god i don't know what they're called) and they have the 60s look, which i like. oh guess what, IT'S PURPLE TOO!!!!!! omg! :)

11. and the others gave envelopes. hahaha. with ka-chingg inside of course. i love it too! i mean, how can you ever go wrong with money? heheh. :)




thank you, all... so so much. really appreciate everything.
i still refuse to grow older, but i sure don't mind the presents! *winks*