WTH!

there's this rumour travelling from mouth to mouth. (haha that sounds like something else but heck...)



a rumour, if a may repeat..


that i'm currently flirting with someone/ courting someone/ going to go out with someone/ having something going on with someone/ whatever.
i don't know. basically, somewhere along that line.



WHAT THE HELL??????



i just heard it today and

WHAAAAAAAT THE HELL???????

if there's someone that significant in my life right now, wouldn't i know? wtf.

are they out of their minds?????????? wait, and they are people i hardly even know! OMG.

i hate this i hate this i hate this!

note for Shanti.

there's this note which i'm supposed to paste on my mirror.

but of course, the mirror provided in my hostel room is so humongous that i can't even find a spot to place this piece of paper without blocking my reflection.

anywayz, back to the note. it's basically stuff that some of my 'classmates' wrote bout me. or more specifically, why they love me. :D *smilesssss*

please be reminded that my 'class' has about 300 students. so it's not uncommon to not know your classmates. trust me, there hasn't been a week that i've not gone "eh? this dude/girl is in our batch????"

well my point is, these may not be the people i'm closest too. but it's nice knowing what they see in you... :)




SHANTI

It's my pleasure to know you! Friendly, Lovely, Cute.

I LOVE you as i know you are crazy, unpredictable and moody (Just like me!)

You are open minded, good dancer,........ also a charming lady :-)

You are brave, good speaker and adorable.

I love you as i know you are arrrrrrrrr, mmmmm, aaaaa, what ar........ chubby kot...

I love you as i know you are my sweet batchmate, good dancer (don't forget the orientation week dance) and 'cute'. Haha some are just lies........



*beams* :D :D
-i've never heard bout people being loved for being moody hahaha. but i guess the writer meant, 'being just like them'...
-and oh ya... i'm loved cause i'm chubby??? wth? haha that sounded more like it was meant for a baby.
-dancer, speaker.... heheh. things i'm pretty known for in usm. *perasan*
-oh and BRAVE? wow.... like seriously, wow. i've never used that word on myself before.
-i know one writer claimed to be 'lying'... but who cares? :D


anywayz, it may look just like any other piece of scrap paper...
but it sure means the world to me. really. :)
thank you, guys. :)



(i'm sure this sounds like a very 'perasan' entry. well i'm in a rare perasan-mode, so sue me.)

@^#$^%$!!!!

i'm just so fucking filled with anger and frustration right now!

i so fucking wanna scream at your face till you go deaf!

i so fucking wanna cause you so much pain, it'd be worse than hell!

i so fucking wanna let all those bottled up emotions out like i never did before!





JACKASS! (it's a word you like to use, isn't it? well that spells YOU!)

FUCKING COWARD!

ASSHOLE!

BITCHHHHHH!




i'm gonna explode. i'm gonna fucking explode!!!!!

one of those chachos-ful nights.

*looks at the time*





i'm supposed to be asleep.


but here i am, typing and munching on some leftover Chachos.


(not like it's a bad thing or anything, chachos are good!)




















took a shower at about 0006hours.


went to bed at about 0023hours.


tossed, but didn't turn.


still awake.


said a lil prayer like i always do.


cried. (i'm not insane.)


couldn't sleep.


got out of bed.


went back to bed.


got out of bed again.


went back to bed.


listened to my mp3 and then the battery died.


got out of bed to charge it.


went back to bed, tossed AND turned.


got out of bed and got stuck to my laptop.

my alarm is set to go off at o600hours.


*looks at the time*


good luck, shanti.

UN-attract!

people always want to know how to attract a person.
well i have a different kind of problem.

i need to learn how to make people NOT be attracted to me.

right now, i'm not sure if i'm doing it right.
i'm not sure if i'm giving out the wrong signals.
i'm not sure if i'm leading them on.

as far as i'm concern, i'm just being friendly.
and i think it's fair to be nice to people who you like talking to.
which is what i think i'm doing. being nice.



BUT

i've been getting hints. heavy hints.
which i'm not sure how to react to.




what do i say?


"please go away." ????
no i can't, i like talking to the person.

"stop flirting with me." ????
how on earth do i say that without being harsh?

"i'm not attracted to you." ????
sounds too mean.

"i don't mind hanging out with you, but i don't wanna date you." ????
how do you tell that to someone who's asking you out?

"don't fall for me." ????
hahahaha. lame!




HOW do you NOT attract someone?

the waiting.

waiting for something you're certain of is one thing...
waiting for something you're NOT certain of is a different thing altogether.

it drives you crazy.
the uncertainty.
not knowing.

i don't know bout others, but it sure drives me mad.
i can't stand not knowing.
i can't stand the anticipation of something that's not certain.

well i just can't stand waiting.
especially when i don't even know what exactly i'm waiting for.



right now i just wish this 'game' would end.
but then again, i could be the only player in the game.

orgy?

(i know my blog is kinda dead these days. forgive me. medic school is crazy.)

note: this event took place last thursday. or should i say friday morning.

well since it was the last day of exams, right after our MCQ paper, we went crazy shopping in KB Mall (where else can i go?) till we were exhausted.

*skips unnecessary details*

then that night a bunch of us decided to go to Tok Bali just for fun.

(to those who aren't familiar with the place, i'm talking about the beach actually)

damn that place was as dark as a black hole! but surprisingly the place was filled with nocturnal creatures (like us :P)... campfires and all.

so we were cooking and eating and laughing and running around and...

*skips unnecessary details*



then we saw.
they were staring at us.
walking towards us.
definitely not in beach-wear.
they stopped us.



unknown fellas: ini dari mana ni?

us: *silent... looking at each other*

unknown fellas: datang dari mana kamu ni?

us: dari USM.

unknown fellas: dari USM... semua student ni?

us: ye.

unknown fellas: buat apa kat sini?

us: saje je.

unknown fellas: apa program kamu kat sini? nak buat akitiviti apa?

us: takde apa-apa. just saje je.

unknown fellas: laki ni siapa? *points at one of the guys*

us: kawan.

unknown fellas: *stares at us suspiciously* ... apa program kamu?


gosh i don't know how many million times he repeated the same freakin question "apa program kamu kat sini?"... i swear i was gonna ask him if he was deaf!


unknown fellas: kami sebenarnya dari Jabatan Agama... *bla bla bla... *


wtf. OMG that familiar line! the line that u only hear in malay dramas! i couldn't make out what else he was saying... my mind was flooded with all kinds of thoughts.


unknown fellas: berapa orang datang? perempuan berapa?

us: perempuan 4 orang.

unknown fellas: laki berapa orang? berapa kereta? yang lain mana?


OMG. what the hell is wrong with them? did they really think we were organizing an orgy or something??? PLUS, we were all indians... we have NOTHING to do with their Jabatan Agama!

sigh.



i have to say, a memorable post-exam celebration indeed.

Feb 14th

one couple just flew to kl today.

some went to terengganu.

one will be going to god knows which resort this time.

some went to Rantau Something (i'm bad with names).

others are just out. somewhere.





guess where Shanti is! :D
sitting in her hostel room, typing this post! :D


happy valentine's day. HAPPY valentine's day indeed.

nothing

i don't know what's wrong with me

but i'm wondering why i didn't accept NUS' offer last year.

i should've. i could've been studying there right now.

why didn't i accept it?

i don't know what's wrong with me.

i need a therapist!

2009 started off as a busy busy busssssssssssssssssy year. (which explains my silence for 2 weeks)

but...
i'm not here to talk bout how i started 2009. that will be in another post, some other day.



something's bothering me. my sleep actually. or more specifically, my dreams. very vivid dreams.

i shall not get into details coz that would be too... well... explicit.

so here's a few key words:

• night
• outdoors
• in the rain (but i didn't get the chance to feel cold... you'll know why)
• erm... lips (very 'busy' lips)
• hands
• actually the whole body
• tight embrace
• warm... or should i say... hot hot hot!
• LIPS! MOUTH!
• people watching (YES, there were people around!)
• of course, me and another co-star

i woke up confused, shocked, blushing, breathing heavily... and i could still FEEL it!

jumped out of bed to take a cold shower... and i could still FEEL it!

told my friend about it... and i could still FEEL it!

it's been hours now... BUT I CAN STILL FEEL IT!

the dream is weird. i've never had a dream so vivid before, especially these kind of dreams!

plus, my co-star is someone i know. someone i shouldn't be dreaming about, especially these kind of dreams!

omg omg omg. what is wrong with me.

i need a therapist. *still blushing*