Monday, December 29, 2008

my penis

:D

nah, i didn't go for a sex change operation.
and no, i didn't buy myself a dildo either.

:P



today, i drew a penis. (it's a cross section, but still...PENIS!)
i've seen pictures of it in my medical books la, very detailed pictures. (the ones in PMR books aren't counted, that was nothing..pfft)
but studying a picture, and drawing a picture are two verrry different things hahaha.
drawing it out was just.....weird. *raises an eyebrow*


but i drew a relatively nice penis. i like my penis.
so i was showing my 'artwork' to all my friends... and it was pretty weird going around saying
"look at my penis! look at my penis!"
i mean, how often do i get to say that hahaha.





anywayz, while comparing each others' penises (lol i like the sound of that)
i noticed my friend drawing a relatively huge one
so...


me: eh, how come your penis so big one?
him: hah?
me: you see mine, you see hers *points at my other friend*... yours so big.
her: yalah, you drew so big.
him: aiyaaa! because i am MAN! i should know how BIG, how LONG to draw ma...
her: ohhhhh... i know! yours is very excited one!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Saturday, December 27, 2008

the question.

"what happened between you guys?"


i haven't been asked this question for quite some time.
half a year ago was a different story, i keep getting bombarded with the question, wherever i go. the question that i tried to avoid, the question that i had no answer to.


today, someone decides to ask me the question.


again, i felt that familiar funny feeling in my stomach, like i was gonna throw up; that familiar heavy feeling in my heart, like all the life was sucked out from my body; the familiar sharp feeling around my nose and eyes, i know what to expect.





"what happened between you guys?"


i don't have the answer to that.
i searched, but never found it.
many times i thought i finally have the answer, but the question never fails to come back to haunt me.
till today, i found no answer.





"what happened between you guys?"


i asked myself a million times, i asked him, i asked God, i asked everyone.
who else do i ask?




"what happened between you guys?"


I DON'T FUCKIN' KNOW, DAMMIT!
I DON'T KNOW!!!

Thursday, December 25, 2008

people in love.

why do i have to be surrounded by couples in love?


here's the thing, my roommate just got into a relationship like 2 days ago. yea and the guy's from our campus too. so of course, soon i'll i get to 'feast' my eyes with sights i do not wish to see.

my other roommate is also in a relationship. it just started too, not long ago. and yes, the guy's from our campus too. oh this is the guy i mentioned in my previous entry (v-day).

one of my closest girl-friends here is also with a guy from campus, who happens to be my good friend too. which means.......... i'm stuck with the two of them most of the time, being a lamp-post, shining ever so brightly. half the time wishing i was blind so that i don't have to see them running their hands on each other, or necking in the middle of kb mall, or nibbling on each other's ears, or...well, you get the picture. the other half of the time i wish i was deaf so i don't have to listen to her talking bout everything he says or does, bout everything I don't have.





i don't have anything against people in love.
and i'm not being selfish, i am happy for you guys, i really am.

but it's not my fault that part of me still gets all bitter,
it's not my fault that i feel the need to get away from you,
it's not my fault that i don't get excited over your excitement,
it's not my fault that i hate seeing you guys kiss,
it's not my fault that i don't give a damn bout the guys you keep suggesting to me,
it's not my fault if i cry, it's not my fault that i haven't healed.


why am i lost in a circle of people in love?

Friday, December 19, 2008

V-day

i helped a friend.

a guy friend.

helped him book flight tickets online.

TWO flight tickets.

it's for the 14th of february. next year.

yes, Valentine's Day.

he actually PLANNED a surprise 'date' for his girlfriend (which happens to be my roommate).

so they're going for a holiday.

it's TWO months away, and he got everything carefully planned already?

O-M-G.

*speechless*

O-M-F-G.

*still. very. speechless.*

wow. i mean.......just.......wow.







well i've never had an actual valentine's DATE before.
i'd either be single, or miles away from my baby/darling/sayang/okay-fine-'my significant other'... (i can forget about the next Feb 14th too hahaha)
not like i've ever expected anything like this, but the thought of what this guy is doing for his girlfriend..just leaves me speechless (and maybe a piercing feeling too =P)...
of course she doesn't have a clue about what's going on, but everytime i look at her i feel like telling her how so very extremely lucky she is.

again, all i can say is "wow..."

Friday, December 12, 2008

let's play tag!

okay since i'm rotting here this weekend, i'm gonna (finally) do this!
i'm not gonna tag anyone coz well, i'm not expecting the whole world to be reading my blog =P
okay okay, so here goes...


1.The last person to tag you is?
> Jacklyn, my only follower. hahahaha.

2.Your relationship with him/her?
> friends, ex-schoolmates, ex-tuitionmate, ex-collegue and maybe singing-mate too.

3.Your 5 impression towards him/her?
> CRRRRRAZY about singing, really nice, easy to talk to, a camwhore hahaha, errr what else....small? hehehehe. just kidding.

4. The most memorable thing that he/she has ever done for you?
> transformed me from a person with singing-phobia, to a singing-addict. in other words, she made me thick-skinned!

5. The most memorable words that he/she has say to you?
> words?... how am i supposed to remember?

6. If he/she becomes your lover, you will...
> know that i'm crazy. no offence but i'm atrracted to men haha.

7. If he/she becomes your enemy, you will...
> turn her into my friend again? lol.

8. If he/she becomes your lover, he/she has to improve on...
> her GENDER! :D

9. If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason is...
> gosh...

10. The most desirable thing to do for him/her is...
> why do your questions seem..er..wrong?

11. Overall impression towards him/her is...
> cili padi!

12. How do you think the people around you will feel about you?
> some think i'm arrogant, some think i'm a bimbo (hahaha this is totally new to me), some think i'm quiet and shy, some think i'm crazy and loud, some think i'm transparent, some get all confused and think they know nuts about me, but most people like me (hahahaha...perasan).

13. The character for you for yourself is?
> heh???

14. On contrary, the character you hate of yourself is?
> the person with a block.

15. The most ideal person you want to be is?
> the person with less insecurities? (okay the tone is getting really serious now)

16. For the person who cares and likes you, say something about them.
> how am i supposed to know if they care/like me?

17. Bra or panties?
> i'd say panties are important, but i'm crazy about bras!

18. Chocolate or ice-cream?
> :D :D both please.



i've been tagged by shalz too, maybe i'll do that later tonight. hehe.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

i'm not moving..

THE MAN WHO CAN'T BE MOVED

Going back to the corner where i first saw you
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag i'm not gonna move
Got some words on cardboard got your picture in my hand
Saying "if you see this girl can you tell her where I am"

Some try to hand me money they don't understand
I'm not broke, i'm just a broken hearted man
I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do
How can i move on when i'm still in love with you...

Coz if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth i can be
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street

So i'm not moving... I'm not moving

Policeman says "son you can't stay here"
I said there's someone i'm waiting for if it's a day, a month, a year
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows
If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go

People talk about the guy who's waiting on a girl
There are no holes in his shoes but a big hole in his world
and maybe i'll get famous as man who can't be moved
And maybe you won't mean to but you'll see me on the news
And you'll come running to the corner
Coz you'll know it's just for you

I'm the man who can't be moved
I'm the man who can't be moved



okay i know i'm not a MAN la. i'm a girl.
but still, this is almost like something taken straight out of my diary.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

tangkap basah

what do you do if you accidentally walked into a room where two of your friends are... erm... 'busy' getting some action?



not like it's a private place or anything. it's a quiet place where we go to STUDY. these horny couple are obviously misusing (and not to mention contaminating) my study area.


so, back to my question... do you close the door and pretend you saw nothing, or apologize then leave, or just freak out? haha. here's what i did:


said "helo" and walked in. closed the door behind me. picked a spot right in front of them. took my books and notes out. all the while keeping a straight face despite having a clear view of the two. =)



sorry people, next time just get a damn room hahaha.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

STOP!

STOP bugging the hell outta me!


when i NEVER say yes each time you ask, it means i do NOT wanna go out out with you. stop thinking that i'm 'just busy with exams'.


when i turn my body 175 DEGREES away from you everytime you're talking (about nothing but yourself, most of the time), it means i'm NOT INTERESTED. not coz i'm shy.


when i won't stand anywhere within a metre's radius from you, it means i'm not comfortable around you. STOP MOVING CLOSER when i keep running away from you. stop thinking i'm just nervous around you.


when i hide in the ladies everytime i see you walking my way, it means i do NOT wanna bump into you. not coz i'm busy fixing myself in front of the mirror just to meet you. do not wait outside and conveniently go "hi shanti, what a surprise".


when i keep telling you i already have plans for lunch/dinner, it means i do not wanna go with you. stop going "oh where you guys going, i don't mind joining, i'm free". i do NOT CARE if you're free.


and stop going around telling the whole world about us, coz there is absolutely NOTHING going on between us. are you fucking delusional?!!! i'm tired of having to tell them i'm not interested in you!


when i tell you that i already like someone, I DO NOT MEAN YOU DAMMIT! stop getting over-motivated for no reason. it is NOT you.


stop giving me your stuff. i do not want to have anything to do with them!


do not follow me around. read my OBVIOUS body language (i am trying HARD to make it as freakin obvious as i can), stop assuming i want you around me 24/7.







DAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH i can go on forever!
i'm not usually so mean, but pardon me mister, you are getting on my very last nerve.

so please STOP.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

nothing

someone once wrote:

"if u truly love a person, would u break their hearts n find flaws in them that u will resolve by breaking up with them?"







i'd love to say "look who's talking"
but then again, maybe THIS is the answer to MY question.

boobies!

Dr. CB points at me and goes
"...she's breasty, it will be difficult to palpate."



*my eyes widen*
WTH?????
did she say breasty?


(she was talking about palpating the ribs, since we were learning how to perform the ECG test on each other)


WTH?????! i've never considered myself breasty before. in fact there are times when i feel i'm 'underdeveloped'. gosh. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.





on another note, i personally think that breasts are weird looking 'things'. yes, they usually look damn good in a nice bra (in case you don't know, i have an obsession for lingerie), but bare breasts just look plain weird! don't you agree?